I have been extremely angry with Mother Nature for weeks now. So much so, I have been in the midst of a "crisis of faith," for lack of a better term or description. You see, The Bitch Gaia (as I had to come call her as of late) took my best friend and familiar from me August 6, 2003, leaving a gaping hole of sadness in my heart that nothing could fill or mend. This was on top of taking two of my other furry children, both prematurely of cancer, in the previous nine months.

I realize that my beloved Boo was 18.5 years old, and had a very long and happy life right up until the very end. But I was not consoled by this in the depths of my grief, nor was that the case with the loss of my other two. I was filled with rage and sorrow at this level of cruelty against me, such a lover of animals.

It was an unexpected turn of events that gave me a glimpse of Mother Nature's grand design. Knowing Boo could never be replaced, Gaia sent a litter of kittens and their mother the beginning of September to console my mind and occupy my time. The joy of The Feral Five in our home, and the building of a bond that reached out to tame them and their wild mother, has warmed a space in my frozen heart and soul I had thought was lost.

Within this litter of kittens, there was one little black female, Magick. She is not destined to be my familiar, as Ronin shows desire to step into that new place in my heart, but she and her mother Samhain, will be part of our family for all of their lives. And what of the three little men? Ghost, Sphinx and SpitFire will be loving companions and family to three others and fill a void in their lives, bringing them joy and love.

Is it the Christians that say, "God never closes a door without opening a window?" I can once again see clearly, not only Mother Nature the destroyer and taker of life, but the creator and giver of life. Forgive me, and thank you Gaia...

UPDATE: July 2004
The Feral 5 Part Two (plus one)